termenung.

Muhaimin Sohud's Diary | Night Circus

everything is more complicated than you think

you only see a tenth of what is true

there are a million little strings attached to every choice you make

you can destroy your life every time you choose

but maybe you wont know for twenty years

and you may never ever trace it to its source

and you only get one chance to play it out

just try and figure out your own divorce

and they say there is no fate

but there is

it is what you create

and even though the world goes on for eons and eons

you are only here for a fraction of a fraction of a second

most of your time is spent being dead or not yet born

but while alive you wait in vain

wasting years

for a phone call or a letter or a look

from someone or something

to make it alright

but it never comes

but it seems to but it doesnt really

so you spend your time in vague regret

or vaguer hope

that something good will come along

something to make you feel connected

something to make you feel whole

something to make you feel loved

and the truth is

i feel so angry

and the truth is

i feel so fucking sad

and the truth is

ive felt so fucking hurt for so fucking long

and for just as long ive been pretending im ok

just to get along just for

i dont know why

maybe because no one wants to hear about my misery

because they have their own

well

fuck everybody

amen